Maybe it's not a "mommy" thing. Maybe it's just me. But here's where I'm at:
On one hand...
I spend my days covered in fingerpaint, sour milk and garden dirt. I kiss boo-boos, clean, wipe butts, sing songs, make meals, clean, play dolls, read picture books, clean, and listen to Dora the freakin' Explorer. There is a constant demand for my attention. I don't even get to use the bathroom alone. The most mental stimulation I get is closing my eyes and "reading" a book to my toddler by memory. Some days I crave just 30 minutes to myself, when I can do something... anything... just for me. And deep down, I wonder if maybe I should just go back to work and actually use the two degrees I am still paying for (student loans).
On the other hand...
I love my children. And I know I'd feel tremendous mommy guilt if I sent them to daycare every day. (Not to mention tremendous mommy anxiety.) I truly that believe that I am the best person to teach my kids about respect, compassion, and self-worth. And I value every single smile on their little faces, and every boo-boo I kiss.
I know I'll be a SAHM at least until they go to school. I just wish I could find a way to stimulate their minds and mine.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
3 comments:
We just have Katherine right now, but I know my days can get really busy and constant just with her! With Baby Boy coming in 2 months, it'll keep me even busier every day.
Hang in there -- raising your children is the best thing you can do for them, as opposed to dropping them off in day care. There's nothing that can compare to the solid foundation and relationships that are built at this early age. It's definitely not easier than working outside the home, but it's so worth it!
Emma
City Roots, Country Life
You have the rest of your life to work outside the home...enjoy your time with your kids. Every nose-wiping, butt-changing, picture-book-reading, Dora-The-Freaking-Explorer-singing minute of it.
When my son was small, I used to read whatever grown-up book I was reading to him out-loud. Mind you, never novels because you never know where those are going to go. But I read text-books (math, english, gardening, etc), and he'd soon fall asleep (method to my madness). Today at 28, he's well-read, articulate, with a broad vocabulary, and he's not addicted to the tv. And I got some grown-up mental stimulus.
Post a Comment