And here's where I've been...

Yeah. I know I've been quiet lately. Here's why:

(Note: This is a bunch of personal stuff that everyone will find boring, but I feel the need to write about it, so... sorry.)

When I turned 8 years old, I thought I wanted to be a writer. By the time I turned 12, I knew I wanted to be a writer. When it came time to choose a major in college, writing/English seemed like the natural choice. But my parents encouraged me choose a degree that might actually get me a job ("You need something to fall back on, just in case writing doesn't work out."). So I followed their advice.

Fast forward to a B.S. in Psychology and a M.S. in Criminal Justice. I was finished with school, and I was certain about one thing: I still wanted to be a writer. After a professional non-writing job (though I was responsible for writing research reports and web content), I found a position with an online news site. Finally! My title was "writer/editor." This led to another (better paying) editorial job, utilizing none of my (expensive) degrees. Eventually, however, I realized that my path had gone awry. I didn't want to be a journalist. I wanted to be a fiction writer.

So I made an attempt to get a book published, and it flopped miserably. Then I got married, quit the editorial job, had kids, and became a SAHM. Sure, I still wrote some freelance stuff occasionally. Got to keep the resume current and make enough money for cute shoes, right? My previous shitty experience with the book publishing world (and my own feelings of inadequacy) prevented me from tackling any more fiction. I was done. Finished. A loser.

I still read news about publishing and writing and such. Couldn't get it out of my blood, I guess. Lately there's been a ton of buzz about "indie authors" publishing their work on Amazon. Now, I love Amazon. And I love my Kindle app. So, I admit, it piqued my interest.

Fast forward again, and I've decided to start writing again. And this time I'm going to publish it as an indie author.

I feel like I have a renewed sense of purpose. Ever since I became a mom, I've felt as if I'm floundering a bit. I love my kids and would do anything possible to nurture them, but I personally need some type of mental stimulation outside of Dora the Freakin' Explorer. Writing again has given me a personal satisfaction that I haven't felt in a very long time.

So that's where I've been. Writing. Reading. Editing. Learning about indie publishing.

When my first book is published, I'll let you know. Maybe it'll suck. Maybe it won't. Either way, at least it gives me a feeling of accomplishment.

The Reason I've Been Quiet

I haven't been blogging much, I know. Here are a few reasons for my silence:

• My new primal diet requires a lot of cooking. A LOT. So I basically spend my time either cooking or cleaning. Ugh. How I hate it.

• I don't have much to say. I'm kind of in maintenance mode right now when it comes to homesteading and prepping. Once spring comes around, I'll be gardening and such again. But right now, I guess I'm hibernating.

But mostly, I'm not sure blogging is a good use of my time. I don't have a lot of useful information to impart. I don't make any money from it. It's more of a journaling thing for my own personal benefit, but then I feel guilty if I don't post regularly, so I'm still not sure it's good for me. Journaling makes me feel better, but guilt does not. I've never kept a diary for the same reason: It made me feel guilty to see months and months without an entry.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about the top priorities in my life: health, happiness, security, family, friends, a fulfilling life, satisfaction with myself. And I think a lot about the ways I waste my time (TV, bad books, naps). I am starting to analyze every action I take. And if that action doesn't benefit one of my priorities, perhaps it shouldn't be part of my life

So that's my thoughts. That's why I've been pretty quiet lately. And that's why I'll probably be pretty quiet in the future.

I'm going to try not to feel guilty about not posting regularly.